How to get over a jerk?

in Relationship Advice by
This guy treated me so badly and I really hate him, but he's like trying to get with me now and I'm falling for him.  Why do I keep making excuses for his behavior?  No matter how hard I try not to think/obsess about him it doesn't work.

6 Answers

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keep thinking about all the bad things he's done to you rather than the good, weigh your options and ask yourself if you really want to deal with all of it. if you think about it from a sociological perspective, guys like that who keep making excuses for their behavior will continue to do that. so I'm telling you there really is no hope for him to change...guys like that will remain that way. if he abuses you, well, those are the last parts of an abusive cycle. the guy apologizes, wins you back, then does it again.

 guys like this should be waving a red flag around constantly, but apparently, girls love them because they know how to speak, but once you're whipped, which you are, they just basically use you and that is that. nothing is going to change so stop making excuses for him, find someone else who will treat you better, and move on with your life without him. I had a girl treat me like utter crap even for the 2 weeks we dated and I dumped her right during the second week...I was happier than ever with her out of my life.

if you obsess over him, as I said, find someone else and make better new memories. you'll find out there is someone else out there who will not treat you like utter crap and actually cares about you...please do not be like most girls with the "in-love" thing. it's just completely stupid...if someone treats you like crap you're supposed to move on, label them as what they are, and enjoy your life cause you only live it once. do you seriously want to die knowing that you spent most of your life hating it because you didn't think you could get any other guy?
0 votes
Sadly, jerks seem to know just how to "get to us".  They know what lies to tell us.  And the good guys just don't have that kind of charisma.

The best thing for you to do is to TELL your girlfriends about the unkind things he does.  Then they can remind you when he starts to rope you in again.  It's called a "reality check".  You might get annoyed at them for reminding you of these things but they are only trying to help you and keep you from being hurt again.

Just remember - he is conning to you!  He doesn't love you no matter what he says or he wouldn't treat you so badly.  Hold out for one of the good guys.  Be willing to check out guys that aren't so popular or maybe so good-looking.  Some of them are real Princes. They will treat you like you deserve.
0 votes
For me, it turned out it was because I was mad at myself for letting him treat me like that. For letting myself be such an idiot. I felt used and thought I was just hooked on him, and that made me feel even worse about it. Girls fall for jerks all the time. It's like some kind of cruel curse or something. It's not just you.

Had you been with this guy before?

If not, it's probably because he treated you badly and now he's playing it smooth which feels like, "yeah I cracked the shell, I got him to 'fall for me'." Even though you know that's not true.

Don't sell yourself short. Resist the urges. Trust me. It might be fun for a moment, but you will feel the after-effects for a lot longer and there is no taking it back.

Trust me. I can't stress it enough.
0 votes
I've been through this before.

They be jerks around you to get you pumped up and pissed at them but then they look at you and it almost turns into a rush, in the end eventually you will get hurt because these guys know they have power over you and normally treat girls like jerks. If they really liked you they wouldn't be an ***!
0 votes
i would say because might be you are so deeply infatuated that you cant really get over it though you know the pros and cons.

it happens to everyone once in a while in life i supposed.dont you feel bad babe.

but still when you know he isnt a good person then why trying to dig a hole for yourself.

think about later on how hurt you would be if he mess up again.

and think about how hard will it be to get over it as even now you are trying to deal with it.

i would suggest you to keep yourself busy and refuse any contact with him

go out with things and get you busy just dont try to think about him.

hopefully it works.

else somtimes its good to follow your heart.

maybe thats a message your heart is giving out to give it a try and who knows it might turn well later on :)

all depends on you babe.

but still have a good thought

you can do it no matter how hard it seems to resist :)
0 votes
Were you treated bad by your parents? If so, that could explain it. You're used to being treated badly.

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